7 Easy Steps That’ll Make You Near-Irresistible to Women
How to Become Irresistible to Women
There are several billion women on the planet, and they don’t make sexual decisions as a single voting bloc. Each woman is looking for something a little bit different.
The hunky, muscular dreamboat that one woman is crazy for is crass and unattractive to her friend. The sexy, brooding musician that drives one woman wild seems wimpy and pathetic to the one right next to her. Coworkers, best friends, even twin sisters will disagree sharply as to what is attractive in a man, what is boring and what is downright disgusting.
If you’re struggling to find anyone who will go out on a first date with you, it might not be reassuring to hear that women’s tastes are as varied as they are. After all, if that were the truth, why haven’t you found any of the women who are attracted to you yet?
Here’s where it gets tricky: It’s true that every guy can be attractive, but that doesn’t mean that every guy is attractive.
That is, the reason you haven’t felt like a Casanova recently isn’t because there’s something deeply, inherently wrong with you. It’s that you’re not the most attractive version of yourself just yet.
Want to live the life of a man who’s successful when out with women? It’s not impossibly out of your grasp. It just means putting in some work. If you’re willing to do that, here are seven ways to become irresistible to women that any guy could master.
1. Define Your Look
Lots of guys spend needless time worrying about their looks, when instead they should be worrying about their look. As in, not the bone structure you were born with, not your muscle tone or the places your weight sits on your body, but the overall vibe you give off.
Do you know how to dress for your shape? What does your hair look like? Are you sporting a thick beard or a creepy ‘stache? To a degree, this is a question of finance, but it’s also just a question of putting in effort. You can make up for almost any physical attribute you’re not crazy about simply by coming across as a guy who puts effort into his visual presentation.
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When a woman brings a new guy home for the holidays, the family members aren’t going to remark on his facial features. Instead, they’re going to notice whether he was clean shaven, the stain on his shirt, the fact that his pants didn’t fit, and his run-down sneakers. The details that you do have control over matter a lot more than the ones that don’t. Women will notice once you get your look under control.
2. Own the Space You Live In
Whether it’s a palatial mansion or a pull-out couch in your parents’ basement, wherever you’re sleeping at night can have an impact on how attractive you are.
Anyone you bring home is going to see the space you invite them into as a reflection of you. Your place isn’t a minor detail — it’s a major one. What it is in raw terms may be a reflection of money issues beyond your direct control, but what have you done with it?
The degree to which it’s taken care of, decorated and made to feel like a home can have a massive impact on how attractive a woman finds you. That means things like owning wall art, a bed frame, vacuuming, changing your sheets, not letting stacks of dirty dishes pile up for weeks. When a guy has a space he’s proud of, that’s a huge turn-on for lots of women.
3. Have Goals for the Future
We’re all born into different sets of circumstances, and tragedy strikes without regard to our feelings. That means you might not be where you wish you were in life at the moment. Whether it’s a money thing, a career thing, an experience thing or something else, there’s a good chance you’re not a CEO, a celeb or a candidate for early retirement.
If you’ve paid attention to anything anyone has said about women over the years, you’ve probably heard that, as a rule, women aren’t exactly crazy about poverty and failure. Still, that doesn’t mean guys who can’t boast a list of jaw-dropping professional accomplishments are likely to remain alone forever. Motivation is more attractive than success.
If we’re talking about raw attractiveness, being a man with a plan is hot. Whether you’re planning to start a business, thrive as an artist, own a dog or simply become the best version of yourself, having an answer to “What do you do?” is overrated. Having an answer to “Where do you see yourself in five years?” — that is what’s crucial.
4. Master the Art of Oral Sex
You know the silly notion that women are notoriously less interested in sexual pleasure than men? Yep, that’s bogus.
Women might be less eager to express their desire openly (because of the double-standard around sex known as “slut shaming”), and their desire might get talked about in art and culture less (because men’s narratives and internal lives are often privileged over women’s), but that doesn’t mean they don’t love feeling good.
There are lots of things you can do to become a sex god, but if you’re going to pick just one, master cunnilingus. Whether you call it going down on her, eating her out or something else, giving a woman good oral sex can instantly make you way, way more attractive. Take her pleasure seriously — read up on oral sex techniques, or better yet, ask her what she likes. After that, just do it right.
5. Learn to Communicate
Learning how to truly communicate with women can be an uphill battle for lots of men. As they often grow up prioritizing their interactions with other men, lots of guys don’t evolve very far past schoolyard teasing when it comes to talking to women. They know how to give a woman attention that’s often sexually tinged, but mistake it for genuine connection.
Part of the problem? Guys are not set up to communicate well, period, let alone with someone who’s been socialized to have a significantly different communication style than their own. Being able to communicate well — opening up about your feelings, taking the time to listen, approaching conflicts with an ability to compromise — might not be something you have a lot of experience with, but developing those skills will absolutely make women look at you differently.
The era of the sexy bad boy is over. The sexy thoughtful listener is well underway, and if you can recognize that, you and your ability to give her the right kind of attention will push you miles ahead of the pack.
6. Control Your Anger
Nowadays, women see men who wear their anger on their sleeves as more of a threat than anything else.
Thanks in part to things like the #MeToo movement, societal understandings of male abusiveness are shifting in a big way. We’re starting to understand that a guy who can’t control his emotions (particularly, his anger) is less dashing and more concerning. If you’re the type of guy who runs hot under the collar, the possibility that your anger might some day turn against her will keep many women away.
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Being proactive about this — seeking out therapy or medication, or taking time to pursue something like anger management classes — can go a long way towards helping your profile with women. It might be traditional to imagine them wanting big, strong, macho men who can protect them, but for many women, priority number one is knowing they won’t have to protect themselves from you.
7. Learn How to Respect Yourself
In the 21st century, it’s time to recognize that asking for help in order to be your true self is just as useful for your overall well-being as working out, eating right and going to the doctor.
Boys in particular are often taught to stifle their emotions growing up, and the end result of that is men who are terrible at processing their feelings. The ability to go through things like grief, sadness, jealousy, discomfort, anger, frustration and so forth is something that almost every guy could stand to improve significantly at. In today’s dating climate, meeting a guy who’s made (or is in the process of making) some progress in that department is a genuine turn-on for a surprisingly high number of women.
The saying “no one else will love you until you love yourself” might not be 100 percent accurate, and it might sound pretty hokey, but there’s a grain of truth to it. Investing effort into being a healthier version of yourself will have a serious effect on how attractive you are to others.
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When you enter into interactions with women without feeling shy, anxious or like you desperately have something to prove, you’ll make them feel at ease. That’s when they’ll start to notice the other nice things about you: your stylish look, your future plans, your communication skills, and your calm demeanor.
They’ll want to come back to your place and see what it’s like, and they’ll probably be thinking about taking things further, too.
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